Moments to Remember (and those I haven't)

Today was a big day at our house. We attempted to eat ceral for the first time. I'm thinking now it was not the best day to start a new thing. The girls just got their 4 month shots yesterday and just aren't feeling the best today. They want to be held, loved alot, and very sleepy but we did it anyway. Ali was up the for the challenge more than Emma. Ali wore more then she actually ate, but toward the end of adventure she started to act like she knew what to do when the spoon came to her mouth. Emma didn't want any parts of it and cried alot and let it run down her chin. I also followed the directions on the box for a baby's first feeding. I felt like I was giving them their formula with a spoon it was so runny. Maybe tomorrow we won't follow those directions because it's not their first feeding anymore and I will make it a little bit thicker. But we will keep trying each day and hopefully tomorrow they will be feeling better as well.

I also must use this entry to admit that I read other blogs. Some would be complete strangers and others would be friends of friends. I was reading one of those blogs today and broke out in tears because it was one of moments that I can't remember. Ali quickly became my bottle baby after birth because she wasn't growing and after I started offering her the bottle 3 times a day like the doctor said she refused to nurse when I breastfed her. Emma on the other hand would breastfeed and drink from a bottle. So I was a good mom and pumped some for Ali so that she could continue to have some breast milk. Well I decided last week that I was going to stop because Emma only nursed once a day, and when I did pump for Ali it wasn't much. It was just to hard to do at home by myself each day. So Friday night/Saturday am was the last time that I nursed Emma and Sunday night was the last time I pumped for Ali. I loved that time with Emma and hadn't thought about how I would miss it until reading that blog today. I realized that I didn't take in that moment. It also hit me that it was most likely the last time that I will have that experience. At this point Billy and I think we are done having babies. Not just because it's over whelming have twins, but for money reasons as well. As I type this the tears keep coming because that was such a special moment and time and it's over, gone, done with and I don't remember the last time Emma and I shared the moment of her nursing. I remember it as a whole, but I didn't truly take in that last time even though I knew I was choosing to end it. My babies aren't babies anymore. How does it change so quickly? I can't wait until they are 2 and 3 and we spend our summers at the pool and doing things, but now I realize that this time has it moments too. I need to remember them.