Being Thankful

I know over this holiday weekend there are so many things that I should be thankful for. Believe I am thankful for so much. I have a family who loves me, a warm bed and home, a job, and of course God. I've spent this holiday break being frustrated, yelling at the girls, and wanting to cry. Not the best way to act when you have so much to be thankful for. Friday a week ago (11/20/09) I took Emma to the doctor because of a horrible cough and cold that she has. Last winter we dealt with wheezing and breathing issues so I wanted someone to listen to her and make sure she was ok. Of course we left the doctor's office with a clean bill of health and 25 dollars spent out of pocket. We kept dealing with the coughing and runny nose at home. It was getting so bad that during the night when she started a coughing episode she would wake up crying. She ended up sleeping with us a few nights. Tuesday morning (11/24/09) I heard a voice come over the intercom in my classroom. "Could I take a phone call on line 2?" I knew right away it was Tina and something was wrong. Emma was coughing so bad she had thrown up twice. I made a few phone calls and had Emma an appointment with the doctor at 11 and my mom who was off work that day trying to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner at her house was going to take her. Around 12 I started calling mom. What had they found out, what was wrong. The doctor thinks she had an asthma attack, gave her 2 breathing treatments in the office, and a dose of liquid steroids. Sent mom home with 2 prescriptions and a recheck appointment for Friday. Well we went back Friday morning and didn't get the greatest news. She was still wheezing bad so now we have 10 more days of the liquid steroid, plus another prescription along with another recheck appointment next week. So we continue what we were doing, 3-4 breathing treatments a day, plus all her meds. Then I deal with them home all day trashing the house, trying to decorate for Christmas, and just wondering where in the world all this "stuff" in our house has come from. I have moments of wanting to load the back of the pickup truck up and hauling it all away to the dump. I feel like the walls are caving in around me. I'm trying so hard to remind myself this is a season of Thanksgiving and I need to be thankful instead of fussing, but it's so hard.