Party to Sitter we do it all

Yesterday I ventured out with the girls to a birthday party by myself. What was I thinking? The girls were good until it was time to eat and then they decided they would only eat for me. After getting a full tummy you would have thought they would be in good shape, but because their morning nap was cut short they were little fussy babies. They got passed around a few times with different people trying to help calm them, and I know they all meant well but I felt like the fool that couldn't handle her own kids. On top of being up 2 hours during the night with Emma because she decided not to sleep I was exhausted when the day ended but of course I couldn't sleep. I was to busy worrying about this morning. The girls spent their first 3 hours with the babysitter. I fed them at Tina's house so she could see how you feed two at once and then I got out of there. I spent a little time at school and a little time at Target. I love to check the clearance racks and it's a great time to use my Enfamil coupons because they have a bigger size can for the normal prize. I get more and save money too!!! When you go through a big Costco can in less than a week you are always on the look out for good buys. When I arrived back at Tina's the girls were just waking up from their naps. I loaded them up and headed home. Right now Tina's house is a zoo and I thought they would eat better at home with a little less going on. Tina is in transition of losing a few kids and starting with mine, plus having some who aren't in preschool or school during most of the day makes her house crazy. Once school starts she will only have 2 others full time and a few after their school or preschool lets out, so don't panic thinking I'm sending my kids to someone who has to many to watch. It also says something to me that two people that work with Billy also use her for childcare so she is good at what she does. So as far as I'm concerned the girls have had an eventful week. Tomorrow they will spend another 3 or so hours with Tina and then we make the hour and half trip over the mountains to Highland County so Billy can do his radio thing.

What happened to my body?

Before kids I didn't think twice about taking a shopping trip with my mom and who ever might be joining us on the adventure. We usually headed 2 hours east to Richmond or 2 hours northeast to Manassas. We would leave early am and not return until 10 or after. We shopped until we dropped and returned home tired but ready to get up and go again the next day. Well since becoming pregnant and now becoming a mom those trips had been halted until yesterday. Mom and I ventured 2 hours north to Hagerstown MD to do some outlet mall shopping and yes we took the girls with us. What else was I going to to do? Give the cat 20 bucks and remind him to feed them throughout the day? So we left mom's house around 8:30am and turned around 7:ooish pm. The day did me in and I felt like I had been run over by a truck. Make that multiple trucks. The girls were great for such a long day and a day so out of their routine. They stayed on their 3 hour eating schedule and took more naps than normal, so how could we say anything? Shopping on the other hand was a little disappointing. We didn't find many good deals for clothes for the girls. Using mom's 30% off last week at Kohl's gave us better prices on Carter's clothes then shopping at the outlet. I was able to find a few fall tops and a pair of pants for school this fall. I also got a great deal on a pair of Bass sandals for next summer. But at times they did become a little fussy and it made it hard to shop. They always wanted to fuss when it was a store mom and I both wanted to shop in so one of us would take them outside. But the day did me in and I was so glad to go to bed last night. But I don't understand how my body has changed so much that I can't handle a day of shopping anymore and it wasn't like the trips we used to do in the good ol' days. Where did that body and spirit go? I have loved my 4 1/2 months home with the girls, but it has gotten me out of shape and very lazy. Last summer my neighbor and I used to walk several evenings a week, this summer the count for walking would be zero. I'll be glad for school to start the middle of August so I can get out and about and moving again throughout the day and stop eating all day long like I do being home with the girls. It's going to be hard going from seeing them all day to seeing them just an hour or so in the morning and a few hours in the evening. I am just thankful that with being a teacher I will have the summers to spend with them. But we did it. The girls had their first of many to come shopping trips. I think it was harder on me than them.


Next week starts the transition days to babysitter. How sad it will be. I won't know what to do with myself while they are there.

Moments to Remember (and those I haven't)

Today was a big day at our house. We attempted to eat ceral for the first time. I'm thinking now it was not the best day to start a new thing. The girls just got their 4 month shots yesterday and just aren't feeling the best today. They want to be held, loved alot, and very sleepy but we did it anyway. Ali was up the for the challenge more than Emma. Ali wore more then she actually ate, but toward the end of adventure she started to act like she knew what to do when the spoon came to her mouth. Emma didn't want any parts of it and cried alot and let it run down her chin. I also followed the directions on the box for a baby's first feeding. I felt like I was giving them their formula with a spoon it was so runny. Maybe tomorrow we won't follow those directions because it's not their first feeding anymore and I will make it a little bit thicker. But we will keep trying each day and hopefully tomorrow they will be feeling better as well.

I also must use this entry to admit that I read other blogs. Some would be complete strangers and others would be friends of friends. I was reading one of those blogs today and broke out in tears because it was one of moments that I can't remember. Ali quickly became my bottle baby after birth because she wasn't growing and after I started offering her the bottle 3 times a day like the doctor said she refused to nurse when I breastfed her. Emma on the other hand would breastfeed and drink from a bottle. So I was a good mom and pumped some for Ali so that she could continue to have some breast milk. Well I decided last week that I was going to stop because Emma only nursed once a day, and when I did pump for Ali it wasn't much. It was just to hard to do at home by myself each day. So Friday night/Saturday am was the last time that I nursed Emma and Sunday night was the last time I pumped for Ali. I loved that time with Emma and hadn't thought about how I would miss it until reading that blog today. I realized that I didn't take in that moment. It also hit me that it was most likely the last time that I will have that experience. At this point Billy and I think we are done having babies. Not just because it's over whelming have twins, but for money reasons as well. As I type this the tears keep coming because that was such a special moment and time and it's over, gone, done with and I don't remember the last time Emma and I shared the moment of her nursing. I remember it as a whole, but I didn't truly take in that last time even though I knew I was choosing to end it. My babies aren't babies anymore. How does it change so quickly? I can't wait until they are 2 and 3 and we spend our summers at the pool and doing things, but now I realize that this time has it moments too. I need to remember them.

Me Again

Two posts in one day. Something must be wrong. No, just have tidbits that I want to share. Who needs sleep when there are things on your mind to blog about. Today was my birthday and it wasn't that bad. I had prepared myself for the worst yesterday, but it wasn't bad at all. Billy was stirring in the house this morning starting at 5:15am so that he could leave for his two day trip to PA. I had just gotten back into a good sleep when he woke me up because Emma kept me up from 2 until 3:30 fighting sleep. I finally gave up and fixed her a bottle. Should have done that earlier and I could have gotten more sleep, but oh well. Billy gave me two super sweet cards for my birthday at 5:30am. One was from him and then a very cute one from the girls. After he left at 6am I ended up with both girls in bed with me because they were stirring, but I refused to be up with them at 6am. We slept until 8 and then got up. They had a great morning and took over a 2 hour nap which I also enjoyed with them. We awoke to 4 messages on the answering machine. We were sleeping good because I only remember hearing the phone ring the first time. They also had a great afternoon. We went into town to visit grandma. She watched them while I went on my quest to take care of my engagement ring. I am getting it fixed for 25 dollars, can you believe it? That was pleasant surprise! I was expecting to spend 100 or more because I had done such a foolish thing. Mom and I then had a great dinner of bad for you food at the Beanery. They had appetizers 1/2 off today and we enjoyed all three that we ordered. My good friend April had been there for lunch and prepaid for a dessert for me, which I managed to find room for in my very full stomach. Thank you so much April for that special treat!!! I am so sorry that your birthday has come and gone without me doing anything. I have to plead the baby blues because they were still bothering me at the beginning of May, in fact I still have flare ups. I owe you big time. Back to my birthday: after dinner mom and I took the girls to visit my old babysitter. It was a short but very sweet visit with her. Then home we came to put them to bed. The only strange part of the day was not having Billy around this evening. The house doesn't seem the same. Last night after the girls went to bed I ordered my birthday present from him. A new purse and bag to hold bottles to match the diaper bag. Thanks honey!


So I have to say today wasn't that bad at all. Thanks to my family and friends for all the well wishes, cards, phone calls, and yummy dessert. Turning 28 wasn't so bad. Wish I could do it again tomorrow.

Out of Order

This entry should have been posted after July 4th, but I am a little slow. In fact I am proud that I post as many things as I do. The days are crazy busy trying to play with, interact with, feed, change, and nap with two little girls. Then I rush around here like a chicken with their head cut off once the girls go to bed at night trying to get the daily chores done.

I was a proud mom on July 4th because the girls looked adorable. I loved Emma's look with the headband. For moments at a time we could also keep a bow in Ali's hair.

The close up picture of Emma's hairband is posted as a request/challenge for my dear friend April. In all of your sewing adventures do you think you could make these? I'm so sick of having the following conversation every time we are out in public.

Public, "Oh, are they twins."

Me, "Yes, they are."

Public, "Is it a boy and a girl?"

Me, " No, they are both girls."

Maybe if I can keep a hair bow on Emma's head they will know she is a girl and not a boy. It seems super easy to me, but then again I don't know a thing about sewing.

What's wrong with this picture?

These two pictures are just a glimpse of how my day has gone. The girls got up today before 7 and ate good, played well, and went down for their naps like any other day. After a nice 2 hour nap, which I also enjoyed, the day from you know where began. From then on they thought it would be more fun to snack and be fussy instead of their normal good selves. I did manage between their snacks and fussy times to fold two drying racks of their clothes, get our clothes off the line and fold them. I was also trying to be a good stay at home wife and put the folded clothes away instead of letting them stay on the kitchen table where I made my stacks. It was when I was putting three of Billy's shorts on his stack of shorts in the closet that my ring got caught on the wire shelf and out when my diamond. It was the icing on the cake. I had already spent countless minutes that afternoon crying at the girls for acting the way they did and now I had messed up my ring. Just what we needed right now, something stupid to spend money on. Now I will be spending my birthday checking with jewelers to see who can do the best and cheapest job fixing my mistake. How stupid could I be? I've put his shorts away hundreds of times and never caught my ring on the wire shelf. Some of my countless minutes crying today were also because I found out that I will be spending my birthday alone. Billy will be getting up at 6am to head to PA for a job and not return until Wednesday evening. He'll be back just in time for his birthday on Thursday. When he shared that good news over the phone at lunch today he also mentioned that he hadn't gotten me anything yet. What a surprise! Why is it now that I am a mom my life is over and the girls come first before me, but only me. Billy gets to leave every morning and go to work, he gets to go do his thing anytime company comes and wants to hold and play with the girls, but not me I can't get away. Another fine example will be me staying home tomorrow with the girls by myself alone on my birthday. It's not like they have any idea, and I'm sure it will be another fussy day.

I am sorry to the few people who do read this blog that I can so easily complain about life, but I need to get things off my chest and this seems like a good place to do that. My life really is good, well most of the time it's good. I have two healthy girls, a good job, a roof over my head, food, a home, and much more. Some people would die for the luxuries I take for granted. I'll try to do better this summer about sharing the fun things that the girls and I do together.